Snitch on your servants!

Snitch on your servants!

Security Directions for the Safety and Security of Residents in the District of Zamalek

1. Please do not give a copy of the key of any private residential apartment to any person working for its occupants (servant/cook/driver etc)
2. In case of the owner/occupant’s travel or leaving the apartment please ensure it is completely closed and inform the watchman or security guard…
3. In case of engaging (a servant/ maid/driver etc) please inform us in advance of their commencing work [so that] from our part we may check the identity of the worker and ascertain whether they have any record. (In this case please send a copy of the identity card to us with the building watchman).
4. Please make sure the exterior door of your building is closed and not left open.
5. The building watchman/ security guard is instructed not to allow entry to any person except after checking their identity and the identity of the occupant they wish to visit.
6. The building watchman/security guard is instructed to register the details of any suspicious or unknown person in the security log.
7. We are to be informed in case of the absence of a watchman/security guard or in case the exterior door of the building is not closed.
8. In case of anything [unusual] at the property please contact us at any time.
We kindly ask all owners to implement these instructions for their security.

With thanks

Ministry of Interior

Qasr al Nil District

Zamalek Police Post

Captain Islam Abd al Aal

Rais Mabahith al Gazira

No one really seems to know why these are going up these days, but the fevered and irresponsible speculation is that security for the whole district has been put on alert for the possibility that Gamal Mubarak could be targeted for an attack as he circulates through the crowded streets of Zamalek. Naturally, if you can afford to live in Zamalek you are above suspicion, so security instead worries about servants taking control of a strategically located apartment to stage an attack on his motorcade. Or something. Or maybe someone recently got burgled by their servants, and that someone is well-connected enough to have put the whole district on alert. In any case, rest assured, big brother is looking out for you and your domestic help.

On that note, Eid al-Christmas Mubarak, Happy Greater Feast of Ritualized Abrahamic Sacrifice and Merry Jewish. Regular activity will resume in the Gregorian calendar year 2008.